spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
