Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
