i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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