she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
