My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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