It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
