Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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