Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
