In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
