we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
