So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
