I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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