But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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