if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
