things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the day after is always just damage control
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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