how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
