I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
