dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
