I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
