You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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