you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
