I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
