420 ftw
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
