Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
