Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
