You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
