i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
