i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
