I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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