UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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