You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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