My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
