Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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