I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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