his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
