Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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