Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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