Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
