im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
