he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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