Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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