So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
