i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
