He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize