SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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