If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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