I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
