so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
