so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
