your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
