You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
